Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Ummm … is this one of the outer rings of Hell?


Have you ever been driving along, distracted by conversation or thoughts about something coming up or events just past when … suddenly you realize that the surroundings don’t look familiar?  Or particularly friendly?

Driving through time and events to Lafawnda’s wedding on Saturday has been relatively glitch free.  Most of that can be laid at the feet of Lafawnda and her friends with the able guidance and assistance of the Lady F.  They have been ahead of the curve at every step of the journey and things are proceeding quite nicely.

With the possible exception of the Old Fossil himself.  It all began in late January when the Lady F and I joined a new and quite vigorous exercise program.  Hoo boy!  It took me about two weeks to really screw up the arthritis in my lumbar region and send pain shooting down my left leg.

I quit the program and started my own rehab.  I got a Bowflex machine – marvelous exercise machine and I love it! – and did a lot of walking.  Believe it or not, with careful work, it took me 4 months to get rid of the pain in my leg.  But …

When I was doing a yoga move  - and I lay the blame squarely on Ramana simply because I know him and he is from India, more solid reasons than people generally use when laying blame – I experienced an intense pain, a cramp, in my lower abdomen.  Sheesh.  More rehab.

So, I’ve been working around that for two months.  Recently it has gotten worse rather than better and it had all the symptoms of a hernia!  Finally, last Friday, I went to the doctor and it was confirmed that I had a hernia.  Well, it didn’t have ALL the manifestations of a hernia, but it had all the symptoms right down the line.  So, I was sent to a specialist.  My strategy was to find out how we could patch me together to get through the wedding and all the visiting family, then do the dreaded surgery afterward if that was needed!

So, I go to the specialist yesterday.  Turns out that I have something called Epididymitis, which mimics a hernia beautifully but is nowhere near as serious.  At least in my case it is not.  So, the show is back on!

Then, the insurance company decided that our insurance was inactive.  Inactive?  Even the insurance people said we were paid through the end of September!  So, at a time when we are pretty tapped fiscally, we get to write a check to the specialist.

OK, this gets better.  They discovered that the problem is that we have the wrong policy number on our cards.  Even though it is the same policy number they use on our bills!  And they had neglected to ever send us new cards!  Oy.  The dingbats are still trying to get their act together.

But, Carol and I stepped back and realized we weren’t in an outer ring of Hell like we thought, we were in one of it’s suburbs, Heck.  Instead of some devil damning us to Hell, some wannabe darned us to Heck!

We carry on happily because these devils have no potency.


  1. Ouch! I cannot say I feel your pain, but I can certainly imagine it and offer sympathy. There is nothing like the preparation for a wedding to bring out the weak spots in the plumbing.... of the bodies or household. Now for the bad news, things happen in threes - so my father always moaned - and you have had three worries, so that is it out of the way and the rest will all be plain sailing. Relax, enjoy and leave the lifting to the young folk.

  2. Impotentt devils eh? Sounds like an episode of Supernatural. And Epididymitis?????? Geeze - sounds like a Roman rapper.

    1. LOL This isn't a Basil episode. Just street level insanity. Or inanity.

      Speaking of Roman rappers, not only would that be a great name, but I'd recommend that he not perform at the Coliseum until they figure out how to save it. Did you see where it may have cracked underneath and one side is sinking below the other?

    2. Nope but it doesn't surprise me - what with all of the things modern civilization brings to the table - cars, polution, etc -

    3. Shackman, you have got that wrong. If you had said Ramana rapper, it would have satisfied TOF with the rap squarely on Ramana's shoulders. The poor sod already has a rap sheet a yard long. or did you miss that bit?

      TOF, neither insanity nor inanity. Just inability to behave your age!

    4. shackman, it is true that they think a lot of the low level Coliseum deterioration is the traffic running continually right next to it.

      And, Ramana, you are of course correct. But, ignorant as I am, you know darn well that I'm just going to jump right back from the frying pan into the fire. Don't hold your breath waiting for me to learn.

  3. Whilst I sympathize (as best my cruel and healthy self can) the father of a bride is in a weak position. Not least because he has to give her away. I am sure the ever vigilant Lady F will have a walking stick ready in the wings should you need a third leg.


    1. Why, Ursula, I can remember that stretch when everything physical on you was falling apart. You are a walking ad campaign for recuperation!

      As Arnold famously said - and it would have been better he had just kept saying silly things like this rather than being Governor - I'll be back!


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