Friday, April 12, 2013


This topic was brought to the Loose Blogger Consortium for our Friday consideration by shackman.  Check his take and that of the other members by using the links on the right side.  I'm suspecting that the problem with this topic is not writer's block, but rather too many different things to say!

We are in that phase of life where our kids are taking the baton in the relay handoff.  My son and daughter-in-law are probably going to put an offer on a house they looked at yesterday.  My daughter and son-in-law will be moving to Fresno this summer for her Dietetic Internship.  And two of our best friends will bury their son, a Green Beret, tomorrow after his wartime death from a gunshot wound taken in battle in Afghanistan a couple of weeks ago.

These are the joys and terrors of having kids.  They take a piece of your heart and soul with them, but they can't give you a guarantee of how things will turn out.  You cheer them on, you share their heartaches ... and you ignore the terror of vulnerabilities they bring with them, the same terror we all brought to our own parents.

It is a poignant time.  But, you know what?  It always is.  And it's worth it.


  1. Fos would that be Jim Grissom? He was mentioned in the MEHS group on FB.

    Yep - it's worth it. Kinda like riding the Big Dipper in Santa Cruz or Space Mountain.


  2. Life is like an ever-shifting kaleidoscope - a slight change, and all patterns alter.
    ― Sharon Salzberg

  3. Just saw this on the news today. A young kid was texting his friend "That's great, man. Will see you....." That's when he ran off the road & died. You never know. His parents were left with the text.

    My boys were asked to look for body parts when kayaking. Kendall said he could see why this guy's life jacket was sucked off in the current.


  4. @shackman

    Yes, it is James Grissom. We are good friends with his parents, Jim and Peggy. It is really sad and your comment about the roller coaster ride is apt!

  5. @bhb

    I saw that one, too. When you think about what most of us have done as kids, it is a wonder ANY of us made it.

  6. The relay baton metaphor is what life is all about. This is the third stage in the Indian system of life the Vaanaprasthashram. Vaanaprasthi, is one who is in the third stage of her life, where she can take a detached view of life and work without worrying or aspiring for anything, for achievement no longer matters to her. This is what Krishna would call the state of a Sthitapragnya (an enlightened person whose mind is stable and does not flicker) or even a Karmayogi (a doer without any desire for results). The modern phrase for it is the empty nest syndrome!

  7. So sad for the family of the green beret. But they can be proud that they raised a child of integrity. It is worth it in the long run, isn't it? I totally agree.

  8. @Rummuser

    Well, if the Hindu view is wisdom based in what is natural, this would seem to me totally consistent. We get to the point where we pass along responsibility, respect and capacity to the next generation. Soon, this will be fully realized, but right now, we are in the sandwich position of still helping our kids and helping our mothers. But, your explanation still stands valid for me.

  9. @Delirious

    It was a long and emotionally challenging day. Life is always filled with risk, because we are temporally mortal, even if eternally vital. Mortality gives us the great gift of appreciation and it also gives us the focus on the present. These gifts are never to be underestimated.


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