Friday, October 26, 2012

Best answer to the question: Does my bum look big in this?

Paul of Blackwatertown fame came up with this for the Friday Loose Blogger Consortium topic.  Danger, Will Robinson!

First, we have to look at the consequences of managing this topic improperly:

Big Butt last words

I think that to properly pull it off and survive, it is good to set the bar high, then set the questioner’s derriere above that bar!  Now, what in current society sets the bar high?  Why, Pippa Middleton’s bum, of course:

To men, her bum is proof that God is indeed good!  I mean, it has absolutely no bad angles.

So, that being considered, here is a test answer:

Your bum is the only one in the universe better than Pippa Middleton’s.  This shows it to advantage!

This answer is fraught with danger, too.  I can anticipate some of them:

  1. Why have you been looking at Pippa Middleton’s bum?
  2. That didn’t sound particularly sincere.

And, on and on.  No, on reflection, the best response is to show appreciation with an immediate roll in the hay!  With gusto!  And say nary a word.

10 comments:

  1. Indeed Fos - danger lurks in every response to the question. Sigh. Respond at your own risk. Then duck and run just in case.

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    1. As you can see from the comments below, shackman, there is always danger when the topic is so fundamental.

      Riddle of the day: Where is the pun in the comment I just made?

      Delete
  2. I'm ROFLMAO at the first graphic, while pitying poor Pippa who will go through life as the bottom that upstaged a Royal Wedding!

    As for the last bit..... I like your style!

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    1. Hey, GM, it's the sizzle that sells the steak!

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  3. Lucky Lady Old Fossil.

    Without wishing to raise any alarm, eyebrows or tainting the air blue: I have never asked anyone in my life whether my bum looks big in anything (I do have a three way mirror which tells me whatever I need to know). However, if I could have a roll in the hay with you, Old Foss, by simply putting an inane question to you I would.

    See you in the stack.

    U

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    1. Ursula you betrayer! I just go on vacation for a couple of weeks and you go looking for rolls in the hay with a fossil? He is just the ring bearer remember?

      Delete
    2. I wasn't looking, Ramana: He was offering. And yes, I do look gift horses in the mouth. He does pass muster.

      Anyway, what's a bit of frolicking in the hay with the ring bearer? For all you know he might have lost the rings whilst making hay with Lady Foss on the way to India, and - to spare him the embarrassment at the altar - I am helping him to find the needle (sorry, rings) in the haystack. Will from now on, just as a precaution, carry a metal detector. It might save Old Foss and me time. And serve as exhibit A that our intentions were pure. The last thing I need is both you and Lady Foss on my case.

      U

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    3. Settle down, you two. I'm beginning to be concerned about your impending nuptials! And that after all the effort to get that stupid ring. I mean, abandoned on that mountain by Barath, traveling backwards and forwards through time and being ever so careful to not go off the edge moving forward past the Mayan Calendar.

      Now, U ... I pass muster, you say? You can tell by looking in my mouth? Maybe that's why Lady F hooked up with me. She's a Dental Hygienist!

      Delete
  4. TOF, I am at that stage of life where a roll in the hay seems to be a chimera. But, if Pippa ever asked me that question, I would promptly say that I am an Indian with no qualms about a strong preference for buxom bottoms.

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    Replies
    1. Like GM says, poor Pippa. Now she has old Indians and Americans admiring the absolute opposite end of her than she would wish, so we should probably just purchase her new book and start admiring her mind.

      Delete

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