As with virtually all the topics brought to our Loose Blogger Consortium for Friday writing, this one can be approached from so many angles. Who knows what Delirious of Life on a Limb had in mind when she brought it up – although, a clue might be in what she writes on it today! – but the beauty of it all is that each topic has no “right” answer or theme. That is why I encourage you to look at the clickable list on the right of Consortium members and see what they wrote. After reading my delightful piece, of course.
My father was a truly excellent school principal. One of the hallmarks of his ability was his easy mastery of discipline with his students, something that those who have it make look SOOO easy. So, what was his secret?
I asked him precisely that one day, “Dad, how do you make it look so easy?” His answer was straightforward and simple, “Never attach a consequence to an action that you are unwilling or unable to produce. When kids test you, never fail at this and always deliver the consequence and they accept it as inevitability. Thereafter, you don’t even need to tell them emphatically.”
Alloyed with this was a marvelous instinct and the capacity to come up with the perfect creative response at the right time. For example, when coaching a boy in Jr. High who was a star athlete, the boy was not participating in practice. When Dad asked him why he wasn’t working at it and told him that if he didn’t practice he wouldn’t play, the boy responded, “I‘m not going to practice because I don’t give a $%!+ about practicing.”
Now, this is the point when a lot of educators would go ballistic and try to dominate the boy. Not Dad. He just told the boy that he didn’t either, so the boy may as well just go home. Then he turned and walked away to work with other boys.
Outcome? The boy decided practice wasn’t so bad after all. Easy.
Your father is a man after my heart. As with all good teachers and heads, indeed parents, they don't come down on you heavy handed, losing the plot, throwing you to the dogs.
ReplyDeleteQuiet authority wins the day every time. And those who have it will be remembered with a lot of affection, gratefully, for decades to come. As I am sure your father still is.
The others? Well, they earned nothing but our disdain. Made themselves a laughing stock. Or were just plain ignored.
U
Indeed, U, indeed. And my mother is cut from the same cloth!
DeleteOne day, Dad had a high fever and couldn't go to school that day, so, being a small town, Mom just went over and took the classroom that day. One of the boys decided to test her. It was the middle of the winter and the doofus decided to get up from his seat and step out onto the fire escape.
Mom simply got up from the desk, walked over to the door ... and locked it! The other kids were aghast! "He'll freeze out there!"
Mom just replied, "Maybe." and sat back down.
Eventually, she let him back in, but no one else challenged her that day.
I suppose another word for it might be calling their bluff! It works 9 times out of ten!
ReplyDeleteIt only works if there is no bluff on the adult's side. There is always a potential price to commitment and the adult commits to the consequence. They must follow through if required.
DeleteI have to admit that the older my children get, the harder it is to come up with a consequence. They don't have many "toys" to take away, or even privileges to take away. It takes a lot of creativity to come up with consequences! But I agree, that is the ONLY way for discipline to work.
ReplyDeleteDelirious, thanks for bringing us this important topic.
DeleteThat breed of Principals and Teachers has disappeared TOF. We have wimps incapable of facing irate parents and self serving politicians and bureaucrats. I would like some one some where to say the their education system is working well. Can you think of a place anywhere?
ReplyDeleteRamana, "that breed of ... has disappeared". No, it hasn't. Since time immemorial there have always been good and bad teachers. The 'good' are able to bring the best out in their pupils (without the rod you seem to advocate in your own take on discipline). The 'bad' not only failing their charges but proving themselves failures. I have watched many a teacher helpless, helpless: Not in the face of a class throwing wet sponges (that is just such a stupid cliche, fiction) but in the face of their own inadequacy. I remember one teacher in particular, he was so clearly in the wrong profession, so desperate that he couldn't engage us, we took pity on him. We paid attention just to humour the poor sod, we swotted like mad just to make him feel better about himself (a class of 24 - and we all pulled together).
Delete"Irate parents"? That is not my experience. Sure, like in many a pod you will find a bad pea - but, on the whole, if anything, a parent will make sure to stay in the good books of their little Johnny's teachers.
As to 'bureaucracy'. Indeed, with the endless paperwork is - these days - the millstone round a teacher's neck. But that does not impinge on the quality of the individual's teaching.
U
I pretty much agree with Ursula in this little debate, but I think I know where Ramana's concerns are coming from. I think this deserves a followup post
ReplyDelete